So, April Fools Day came and went this week without so much as a nod from me. I spent the day in bed, recovering from the previous 3 days, during which I played 'Mommy at Full Speed'. (you know, no farming out the kids to various locations, meals delivered, etc.) It killed me. But it was so fun. I LOVE being a Mom. And I LOVE being married to this man of mine. I'm pretty sure that he has a tumor living in the part of his brain that controls his craziness, because as far as I can see, he is crazy for being crazy in love with me. Why on earth has this guy stuck around for so long? What is WRONG with him? How can he still look at me with those lovey-dovey eyes and kiss me and tell me that he's crazy in love with me? CrAzY is the word I'd use.
We've been married for 9 1/2 years now. Three weeks after our wedding I went in for knee surgery, followed by several weeks of physical therapy. A Few months later I was preggo with baby #1 and SICK, sick, sick, all day and night for 5 months. Then came 8 years of pregnancies in all their barfy glory, post-partum depression, therapy dealing with emotional issues from my childhood, miscariages, endometriosis, family drama (thanks Rucker!), surgery in December to diagnose and "fix" the endometriosis (didn't work), and then a full, abdominal hysterectomy three weeks ago.
I've thought a lot over the years about what force of nature decided to dump on me right after we got married. It seems almost cruel. Like April Fools LIFE Kurt! Haha....I got you!!!! LOL! N - O - T.
I've learned to be a lot tougher than I was in the beginning. I've learned to work through a whole day with a smile on my face even though I was crying inside. I've learned that one of the main reasons we are on this earth is to TEACH our spirits to be stronger than our bodies. As spirits, we've always existed - we came to this Earth to be given a body, and to learn to master it.
In the past, I've heard a quote that goes something like this;
We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience
rather,
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.
Keeping this doctrine in mind brings purpose and strength to each day. It doesn't explain to me why my husband keeps sticking around, but it does remind me that this life is a TEST. It's our time to PROVE to God that we want to be with Him, more than we want anything else. All of the time that I've spent laying in bed, away from the people that I love most, has helped me focus a bit. I've watched the news, seen the disasters all over the world, seen the wickedness that is being labeled as 'human rights'. I've also seen so much good - people turning to Christ and fullfilling prophecy (even if they didn't know it.:)
I've gained this intense sense of URGENCY! Urgency to prepare for natural and spiritual disasters alike. Urgency to push aside the things that don't matter and hyper-focus on the things that do, like preparing my children for natural and spiritual disasters.
And now, this post has become l o n g. And I've probably lost some of you. So I'm going to wrap it up with something I read in a book given to me by a dear friend. The book, "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience" by Neal A. Maxwell.
There is an attitudinal and behavioral bridge that we need to build in order for us
to draw closer to Him (Jesus Christ),
and thus be ready to return Home
- cum laude or summa cum laude -
to recieve of His loving fullness.
We must want to do this more than we want to do anything else.
Otherwise, even if we avoid wickedness,
our journey will end in the suburbs,
somewhere short of the City of God.
Um, yeah. I understand the suburbs.
This is a test....this is only a test.....life that is :)
