Silly Saturday

Happy Saturday!!!!!

Beautiful weather, beautiful life. Beautiful blessings, Beautiful Strife.

THAT is my poem for the day. If you were to ask my kids they would tell you that I love to speak in rhyme. I'm pretty sure that I came down with the 'rhyming condition' from watching "Barney's Mother Goose". I highly recommend it.

One of the things that I MOST appreciate finding waiting in my email inbox is anything that will make me, literally, laugh out loud. Who DOESN'T need a little more laughter in their life? My parents are the top senders and I LOVE them for it. I've often said that the one noise in life that can make just about anyone smile is the sound of a babies laughter. Or children's. Or our own.

So the question is....when was the last time you heard yourself laugh? Read the post below and then MAKE A COMMENT, ADD YOUR OWN PONDERISM, or just  post 'lol'. I know you're out there. The numbers are showing me that you are reading so SAY SOMETHING......pretty please?

Ponderisms........

*I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

*The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

*There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.


*Health, is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

*The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

*Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

*Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

*Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

*All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


*In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. 

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it look normal

*How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, 

but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,

 "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

*Who was the first person to say,

 "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its behind.

*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

*Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

*******

Comment, comment, comment......come on ya'll.

 It's Saturday, you have 30 seconds.

 I KNOW IT :)

What Forgiveness Does NOT Require

One of the subjects contained in this blog,  perhaps only known to the long time readers of it, is that of childhood abuse. I have been open in the past and will continue to be open in the future when discussing the heart-wrenching subject of childhood abuse (all kinds, Physical, Sexual, Emotional, Mental and Social).

Sometimes we must watch through
the rain  before we see the
RAINBOW

The dragon from my own childhood is a monster that can switch from the nice, lame dragon in 'How to Train Your Dragon' to the Biggest, meanest dragon that hides in the mountain.....at any moment. For those who were abused as children, it is a familiar story - and one that will ALWAYS, always end on a happy note, if we seek healing, strength and guidance from our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The past several weeks have been trying, to say the least. Lily's Diagnosis was devastating, and just a couple of weeks after her Dx, the Dragon from my childhood returned with a vengeance. This time, it returned as one of the night-dragon's, because, you see - I refused to acknowledge His presence. He carried the same fear of presence as "He Who Shall Not Be Named" from 'Harry Potter'.... If I didn't say his name....If I didn't even THINK his name, then I would be safe, the problem wouldn't be there, the pain wouldn't surface and I would be FINE to take care of Lily. OF COURSE! Of course this is all that I wanted, it's all that I want now. To take care of my darling (now) 5 year-old.

But my body has been doing some strange, new things. Very New. I started having physical symptoms of severe anxiety. Shaking. Flashbacks and nightmares to traumatic events in my childhood. Horrible Insomnia. Headaches, muscle spasms.

 And why.

 Why was my body reacting so strangely to what my mind thought of as nothing? 

Why am I even writing about this right now?

Because.

 Because I am a Children's Advocate. 

Because I am not JUST a survivor of an abusive childhood, but an adult who is determined to CONQUER the ferocious dragon of my past.

A few visits with an inspired therapist and gifted Psychiatrist, several prayers and whispers of the Spirit later and I am beginning to understand what millions of people, just like me, have - and are - experiencing when they SUPPRESS the natural feelings that stem from traumatic events, fears and triggers to the past. It has the ability to wreak havoc on my entire being, not to mention the good things in my life. From my marriage to my mothering - these triggers and events are TRYING to cripple me.

A few Moments ago I was searching through past emails to make sure I had calendared all of my husbands meetings and conferences and extra work days for the summer when I found a letter that I had written to the family of my youth, just about a  year ago. I share the closing portion, somewhat edited, to serve as a reminder of hope to myself, and to anyone else that may be needing to feel the same encouragement that our Heavenly Father will send our way - the moment we need it, in the instant that we are open to accept it.

Precious Children, we are NEVER left alone
to walk through life's most
trying places.

****************

I want to give the children in our family the tools and knowledge to win the war of good vs. evil. The first time I met with [my therapist]  he said to me - "stop trying to make sense of the pain in your past. It doesn't make sense. It never will."

I forgave ******  a long time ago. The life that I lived is something I will never forget, but I've left it behind and I am choosing to not let it control today. "...letting your past run your life is like letting a caboose run a train." 

I'm sure I made mistakes back then, just as I do now. But I repented of those sins and when I received my endowment at age 21 I knew that I had been forgiven of my wrongdoings. So every Sunday when I take the sacrament, I try and renew the hope that I can do better during the following week.

I just want to close this letter with two quotes that pretty much sum up what this Mama Bear has learned to the point of testimony,

"Forgiveness does not require us to accept or tolerate evil.

 It does not require us to ignore the wrong that we see...

But as we fight against sin, we must not allow hatred or 

anger to control out thoughts or actions." ~ Elder David E. Sorensen

"Boys [or girls] flying kites haul in their white winged birds,

but you can't do that when you're flying words.

Thoughts left unexpressed often lie back dead,

but even God can't kill them once they're said."

                ~Unknown, quoted by David O. McKay

I hope someday we will be a family again. Each of us has our own giants to battle and they are only for each of us to fight. I can't fight your inner battles, but I can love you, which I do. This issue is one of the giants of my life

I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the tools and strength, and when needed, humility, to fight the good fight, the best that I know how.

Love,

Nicole

"Forgiveness has nothing to do with them. It has to do with who we are and who we will become."            ~Richard Paul Evans

***************

May each of us take hold of the challenge that has been given to us from a loving Heavenly Father and allow ourselves to be refined by the refiners fire.

Your loving friend and fellow blogger,

If forgiveness is about who WE will become, where's that potential held?
Is it in the magic of the night's first star or the seedlings dance on the wind?
With lowered head turned towards the SUN we find the answer o'erflowing.
The chosen one, our Savior, His name is Jesus Christ.
He's shown the way, we have only to look - and study and pray and try.
For that is where our potential is found, within, without, and above.
                                                     Copyright 2011     ~Nicole L. Jensen

The SONG of the righteous is a prayer unto ME.

Sunday is the first day of the week according to the calendar. But according to the Bible, Sunday is the Sabbath Day, the Seventh day of the Creation, the day that God set aside to rest. And the day that HE gave us to worship him. Rest from OUR labors, honor him through our service to Him.

Today I woke up at 4 am. I've been having strange, flash-back kind of dreams from real events in my life and they leave me awake and disturbed and unable to get back to sleep. It's been happening a lot lately.

For years, while my children were newborns, I would be up in the middle of the night with them, and I loved it. That was the only time of the day that was free from phone calls, other children's demands, work needing to be done and places to go. It was my blessing time. The time that I could hold my sweet baby and just revel in the spirit that little person had brought into our home.

I believe that EVERY child born into this earth is born carrying the kind of love and spirit from our Father in Heaven that each of us longs to feel on a daily basis. The trouble comes when we try to find the kind of quiet that is required to really feel that Heavenly Hug that will carry us a few more step-stones on the pathway of life.

With all of the distractions in the world it is all too easy to allow our lives to become either too complacent, too complicated, or both.

Our Heavenly Father misses us. He is a jealous God, it says so in the Bible. He doesn't like to be left out of our lives and he will send us little reminders to call home - just like, I imagine, I will when my kids head off for college. One of my reminders has come in the form of insomnia, which is fine and all, but seriously.....I miss having one of those new ones to hold. So if any of my friends reading this need a break from their newborn that happens to fall at, say 3am...call me. I'm serious. Dead serious. I'll be right over and happy as a toddler in the cookie jar.

May the Lord's blessings fall upon your house this week, and may you find the time to feel a little homesick. I promise that if you notice that feeling, he'll send you a hug. I promise.

All time Low

When your 4 year old tells you that she can't do something you're asking because she's "too shaky" - take that as a very bad sign.

Little hands so soft and sweet.
Stop poking them!!

Lily hit her all-time low about 45 minuets ago. 31 is a no-good-very-bad-number for diabetics, or anyone for that matter. The ironic thing is that this past week we went to her appointment and were instructed on how and when to give her a 'mini-glucogen' shot. Glucogen is what your liver dumps into your blood-stream when your in danger of, well, dying for lack of energy.

Princess's DON'T need SHOTS!

She's been resisting her shots more the past couple of weeks. It's horrible! As a Mom, All I want to do is protect my babies and give them what they need to be healthy and happy. Quite frankly, when a parent uses the term, "it's for your own good", or "this is harder for me than it is for you", most people chuckle and think about how many time their parents said that and, "gasp!!!, I can't believe I just said what I SWORE I would never say to my kids!!" So as I get her shots ready I FEEL myself saying what I used to just hear my parents say. And my words come out more like "Please honey! I'm sorry!! I KNOW it hurts, but we just have to be brave."

Don't be fooled by the age of our children.
They are young, but they are WISE.
AND, they learn (remember) quickly.

Sometimes when she asks the question, "Mommy, WHY haven't they found a cure yet?!?" I am able and prompted to seize the moment and to teach her the gospel principles behind our mortality. I tell her about the cure that will come when she's resurrected, and given a perfectly perfect body, that NEVER gets sick. But mostly, I just tell her that I don't know why because Mommy can't see eternity. Then I tell her that I love our Heavenly Father SOOO much, and that HE loves her even more than that, and that this trial is her test to show her Heavenly Father how brave she can be.

I've been so blessed, countless times, to feel the words given to me to be able to explain to my children at the youngest of ages, the most beautiful and profound principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. To tell a four year old that Type 1 diabetes is part of her test in this life may trip us up as adults. We stop ourselves and think that this child is too young to understand such abstract principles. but that is where the mistake is made. Because the principles are not abstract at all, in fact, they are quite the opposite, they are what lies at the very center of our existence. 'God's plan of Happiness', or 'The Plan of Salvation' is the glue that formed our beings into something strong enough to place faith in an older brother (Jesus Christ) and then to take that leap of faith into the darkness of this world. Because we KNEW that we could get home again.

"Jesus KNOWS that those shots hurt honey.
He will help you be brave."

So, when a teaching moment comes - and they will come as often as we are ready for them - we can explain, "with the tongue of angels" that the reason this little girl is getting shots many times a day is because she wanted the chance to show her Heavenly Father how brave she could be, and also how much faith she could have. Knowing most four year olds, that teaching moment will most likely last as long as the questions flow. In my case, it came when Lily asked what faith meant. "You can have faith honey when you choose to believe that Jesus KNOWS what it feels like to have lots of shots. And when you choose to close your eyes and take his hand and let him help you be brave. Because he can, and he will!"

Pray Always

Don't be fooled by the fact that the end of this conversation was the last sentence above. "Careful the things you say.....children will listen..." are the words in a much loved broadway musical. They listen when the spirit of God is present.......why else would it be so hard to be patient as a parent? We all know what happens when Mom or Dad, or Grandma, Grandpa, etc. loose their patience - the teaching Spirit flies away and little devils come to play. Ooooooo! I surely, DOn't like those mean little guys. Do you?

When have you had the chance to teach a VeRy young child a gospel principle that one might initially think is over their heads? Please share!

For Sale - As of now.....

$5000 ***

IKEA Billy Bookshelf

Ogden, UT   84403   -   Jun 4, 2011

BUY me!!!

For Sale!!

One IKEA Billy Bookshelf, in fabulous condition, like new.

This sells for about $60 dollars new at the store. This is as good as new and already assembled ! :)

Key features

- Adjustable shelves can be arranged according to your needs.

- A simple unit can be enough storage for a limited space or the foundation for a larger storage solution if your needs change.

Product dimensions

Width: 31 1/2 "
Depth: 11 "
Height: 79 1/2 "
Max load/shelf: 66 lb

Black-Brown color. 1/2 as
wide as the white one.

$3000

IKEA Billy Bookshelf

Ogden, UT   84403   -   Jun 4, 2011

This is a listing for one IKEA 'Billy' bookshelf.



Product dimensions
Width: 15 3/4 "
Depth: 11 "
Height: 79 1/2 "
Max load/shelf: 33 lb


Color_ Black Brown.

Good to know


5 shelves included.
May be used with BILLY corner hardware to form a stable corner unit.
Can be used with BILLY height extension unit in the same width for added storage vertically.
May be used with doors; available in different colors and designs.


***Save yourself time and money, buy from us and you've skipped the hardest part. NO assembly required.

$4000

High End Crib Bumper Forms, Excellent Condition!

Ogden, UT   84403   -   Apr 26, 2011

Buy Me!!

This is an ad for the inserts from our crib bedding. The bedding came from a high-end boutique and the crib bumpers were only used for about 6 months.
You won't find anything this nice elsewhere. Trust me when I say that I've looked for inserts this nice and have yet to find some!
Make your own bedding for baby's nursery. Or, if you have someone wanting to make a set for you, here you go!
I'm located in Ogden but have family going south almost daily.

Thanks for looking!

PS. The bumpers are totally clean, we only used them for a few months until the little guy was moving around, so no baby bodily fluids to worry about:) You may have the covers that they came with too. They are yellow and white with cute embroidered frogs. One on each side about 3 inches in diameter, a prince and a princess.

Anybody in There????

We just got a new dog. For those of you who don't know that we had to find a new family for 'Gimli' our Bull-Mastiff about 2 weeks after Lily's Dx. And now, we have a little, white, puff-ball, Maltese.

This isn't actually our 'Bella', but a good
representation of what she looks like!

I'll write more about her later, just like I WILL eventually publish Part 4 of how we found Lily's Diabetes. But tonight, suffice it to say that our new baby, "Bella" (yes Twilight, and no-I've liked the name for a long time.) is deaf. Yes, YOU HEARD me, she's Deaf.

IF it weren't for the fact that she has been deaf for quite a while I would think that she had caught whatever disease that our children have. You know the disease that I'm talking about, right? The one that causes debilitating selective hearing in children.

The worst part about that disease is that the debilitating part is only debilitating to the PARENTS. Like, NO FAIR! Ugh. It's nights like this that I just don't GET the novelty of hearing your own echo in a cave or canyon. I hear my own voice ALL the time. It's not that great. It's kind of lonely. And it's how people go INSANE.
Ladadadadadada....dooodeedodedooboppop.


Ending this post with a SHOUT OUT to my Mom's friends - The Brown Family. They've just had a second child diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It's my worst nightmare right now and my heart aches for them. I know the guardian angles are surrounding them during this time of need, but please send prayers too. xoxoxoxo